The practice of Self Care

Today I had the most awesome massage.  And I wanted to post about it, but it seemed odd to post about massages on a blog that is primarily about our journey with Autism.  But really, the more I thought about it, the more it seemed very important to post this discussion.

Parents raising children who have a disability have a higher incidence of stress and stress related issues.  Health issues and pyschosocial issues top the list.  We know what stress does to the body, science has long proven that phenomenon.  Most of us have felt stress at one time in our lives.  It can ruin an entire day, it can make you confused and befuddled, it can make you have zero patience, it can cause poor decision making....and on and on.

Clearly, these are not really attributes that help me be a great parent to Nea.  I would also add, that I think parenting, PERIOD,  is stressful.  Stats are alarming however for parents of children with disabilities.  Focus is on the child, and everything else gets lost.

Nea has done a great job in learning self care.   She knows when to find her "big blanket" (the weighted one), she asks for squishes when she's stressed, she will grab Karen (the 2 lb penguin) when she needs a little extra grounding.  Nea practices self care probably much better than the rest of us!

And that folks is what this is about.  If I expect Nea to learn self care and know what to do if she's feeling stressed....shouldn't I model that behavior for her?  And quite frankly, shouldn't I be practicing that for myself?

Get a massage.  Get one regularly.  Experts say that you should incorporate massage into your lifestyle much like you do diet and exercise.  Twice a month is wonderful, once a month will work.  But if you have areas that are super tight, you might need to go on a weekly basis to get everything balanced right again.

Stop thinking of something like massage as a "splurge" and start thinking about it in the terms of better mental and physical health.   There are a myriad of reasons why you should go on a regular basis.


If you've never had a massage, I STRONGLY encourage you to get one.  Here are few tips!

• When you first lay on the table, there is a little bit of "oh my, I'm nekkid except for my undies under this thing" nervousness.  Let that go.  The massage therapist is a professional and you don't have a thing that he or she hasn't seen before.  They don't care, really.
• If you have a "I don't like a deep massage, it hurts" thing going on....then you need to talk that over with the massage therapist PRIOR to the massage.  They want to talk about those kind of things regularly.  They are also amazing readers of body language.  They can sense when you tense or grimace, and they are not going to have you writhing in pain on the table.  Just like any good relationship, it's all about communication.
• I think the facial/scalp massage is an amazing thing.  Seriously, we use our facial muscles tons throughout the day.  You don't realize just how much, until someone starts massaging your cheeks and jaws around.  Wow.
• And your forerarms.  They aren't a place you  usually rub often.  You see folks rubbing their neck or shoulders when getting tired or stressed, but never forearms.  Trust me....it's a treat!
• And then of course your back.  Ohh my lands.  When you are laying on your tummy (face down with your head in that head support thing and you wonder to yourself "My bed at home needs a hole in it!!") and get that first rub, you just want to melt.  You'll lay there thinking, "Yup, I will be here every month.  Oh who am I kidding, I'll be here weekly. Oh what the hell, I'm moving in!"  You'll never wonder again if you should have came when that back is stretched and massaged!

As I said today I had an awesome massage.  The last few days have been stressful around here as I'm learning that a 3 year old is very different than a 2 year old. I've had a raw egg tossed on the floor, a colossal meltdown because I would't let her jump out of the 2nd story window, and water spit across a room all in 36 hours.    Not to mention that  our household was sick and we were slugs most of the weekend.   Nea's expressive language is still lacking and there's lots of jargon talk involved.  But her comprehensive language is right on the money.  So as she continues to age it seems to be more and more frustrating not to be able to get her point across.  This is stressful for her, and in turn for us as her parents.  It makes everything topsy turvey at our house from time to time.

Wednesdays are tough for Nea.  It's double therapy time and lots of work.  The OT was sick today, so we started the morning doing speech therapy.  Instead, she did her own OT workout in the waiting room!

"All Aboard!!!"

 Remember, speech therapy is difficult when there is not OT beforehand.  She did well, but she was taxed there is no doubt.

We went to lunch with Poppa and then took her to school.  We were rushed, and didn't give her a great transition time.  Lesson learned.  She NEEDS it.  I left her in the teacher's arms crying and screaming for me.  However, the teacher told me after school that once I left, Nea was fine.  She played with the other kids, she was engaged in activities and she didn't have any more tears.

She was all smiles when I picked her up and she was hot!  They played outside today, so she ended up getting a good OT workout anyway!

But the day had caught up with her, and she was fading fast......

"I thought pre-school was not like school"

And in a case like that! We head for ice cream.  It's the one thing that can keep her awake and keep her motivated!

"School?  What school?"

Effective  ice cream eating

Now, make an appointment with your massage therapist TODAY!!