Tuesday is "folder day". That means that communications from the teacher, the principal, the school itself are put in the Nea's backpack for us. Essentially grown-ups are using children as a messenger service. It's brilliant! Nea's classroom was out of Clorox wipes and a note was sent home in the backpack to all the students. I put 2 tubs in Nea's backpack on Monday, patted her on the head and sent her to school. When she came home, they were magically gone! Listen, I don't mind sending cleaning wipes to school. Kids are germ factories, I am fully aware of this (live it every day) and anything they are doing to keep that down to a minimum I am ALL FOR it!
Yesterday (Tuesday, folder day...remember!) Nea came home with this...
Ohh Yeah!!!! How exciting! Of course we asked Nea about it and the conversation went something like this....
Me: Nea! Ms. **** gave you a special note!
Nea: Yes, Mamma, I did it!
Me: I see that!...what did you do?
Nea: I did it!
Me: I know! Why did she give it to you?
Nea: I did it!
(hmm...okay, this isn't working.... I have worked with enough Child Life Specialists in my career to know that rephrasing has to happen at this point.)
Me: Nea, the special card that Ms. **** gave you, what's it mean?
Nea: Mamma, I got a B- a R-and a A- and a V and O! I did it!
Me: That's right! You have a card that says Bravo! It means you did a good job in school.
Nea: I know Mamma, I did it!
I have to say, that was an awesome conversation to have with my girl. I'm not sure she understood exactly why she had that very colorful card. But clearly, however she received it made an impression on her that exudes excitement.
If you are on my fb page that connects to this blog, you've seen that there have been a few issues with the bus. Now that has been the angst from the beginning and to have it go awry so soon is not setting well with me. So in true fashion (as modeled very early to me by my own mother), I started out on my very first Harper Valley PTA quest.
I'm going to post the letter here. Mostly because I want people to understand my thought process and if anyone needs to borrow my words to advocate for their own child, I'm okay with that as well.
First, when doing something like this, moving to Def-Con 5 at the outset does no one any favors. I do believe that people want to do a good job/run a good business/are not out to get me. So I operate initially on the "perhaps you just don't know." If something else comes to light, if I discover there was malicious intent......well.... okay lets not go there today.
So I started with the teacher and the principal and then moved on to the director of special ed services.
My daughter, Antonea started school at **** Elementary on April 10th. She is in Ms. **** special needs class. Nea is autistic and going to school has been a source of anxiety for our family.
I am happy to report that her time at school has been fantastic. Ms. **** has communicated with me frequently to let me know how Nea's transition to school has been. All reports have been good, and Nea is learning the routine wonderfully.
What has not been going well however, is getting her to and from school. We have had major inconsistencies regarding bus pick up and drop off for at least 3 days.
The first day went very well, as well as the second. But then for some reason on Friday, Monday and today we have had concerning issues. We were told that the bus would pick her up at 11:30 and the ride would be an hour each way to and from school. The bus has arrived anywhere from 11:25 to 11:50 and today it did not arrive until 12:28! We were told that the bus was stuck in the mud today and that is why they were so late. Nea arrived to school 50 minutes after the start time. 50 minutes is unacceptable to start school when you are only there 2.5 hours. Every minute is crucial learning time, and I am less than pleased that she's missing out on much needed learning. Also, I cannot imagine the disruption to the other students as she arrives so late.
I understand that today may have been extenuating circumstances, however drop-off has been just as inconsistent. One day it was 3:25, the next 3:45 and yesterday was 4:00 pm. If the routes are different per day, we just need to know how that works so we can make accommodations accordingly. As I'm sure you are aware, many autistic kids have difficulty with transitions, and Nea is no exception. Waiting on the porch for 40-50 minutes with an autistic 3 year old always on "the ready" to get on the bus is impossible. Because we do not know the arrival time of the bus (or within a 10 min window), the transition has to happen far too quickly and then we are putting a stressed-out special needs preschooler on a bus with no coping mechanisms available to her.
I have already been in contact with Ms. **** about my concern and she informs me that she has discussed with the principal as well. They have been in contact with the bus company directly. I am writing you to inform you as well. I would appreciate any assistance you can provide on this matter.
Please feel free to contact me by phone or email if you have any questions and I am happy to discuss further.
Thank you
There was a reply this am, as I knew there would be. They were aware of the issue, concerned as I was and would be handling it quickly. Again, I believe that all to be true and I think a resolution can easily happen. Again, I think everyone is doing the best with what they have and if the system has fallen short then lets work together to get it fixed.
As luck would have it, today is not a bus riding day for Nea. Today is the day that I drop her off and pick her up from school. Drop off is no biggie, there is hardly anyone in the parking lot and Nea and I happily skip to the front door as I hand her to Ms. ****. Nea is happy to see her and she holds her hand walking into the school but doesn't want to let go of mine quite yet.
I'm introduced to the OT who is working with Nea. We walk and talk. I am such a poor walker and talker. Plus I'm also worried if Nea is going to let go of my hand at all or if there is going to be some sort of issue. The OT explains (I think...my memory is fuzzy here. Lots of kids in the hall!) that Nea is doing well and she's impressed with her mature grasps and how well she cuts with scissors. [Note to self: send Johanna a 'thank you' for teaching her how to cut with scissors. Nea has also successfully opened a box of fruit snacks and snipped all 14 packages open, helping herself to a fruit snack breakfast one morning.] I say to the OT lady, "Yes, she's been working hard......" It sounded much better than..."Yes, my girl is a ninja sometimes and sneaks scissors to randomly cut objects"
As we moved down the hall Nea says "I have to see the bish" (her word for fish) and I'm thinking "what is she talking about???" Sure enough, Ms. **** stops at the fish tank in the hall, Nea counts all the fish and then off to the classroom they go. This is the ritual they have created and I love it. Ritual helps Nea feel comfortable and what a perfect thing to do when you get off a long bus ride!
As low-key as that drop off is....pick-up is the extreme opposite!
There's a line. There's a line that moves in a certain way, in a certain manner, at a certain speed. The bell rings and kids start pouring out of the school. What, there's a door there? Where's my kid? How many kids go to this school? Is that a 2nd grader, they look huge!?? I'm getting a little nervous because I do not know how this process really works and I'm thinking I need a good flow chart to understand it all! The other parents look like veterans in the "Pick Your Kid Up Efficiently While Maintaining Your Sanity" process. I finally decide my car is a hindrance here and I slide into a parking spot. I think I might have zagged a little bit into that space which got me a glare from Soccer Mom because clearly I have no clue what I'm doing. Screw this, I'm walking through this circle drive!
I make it to the doors of the school where Nea and Ms. **** greet me with a smile. I give a haphazard grin and look back across the mine field of children, buses and cars.
Crikey!
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