Go With It

My girl has been in our school system since she was 3.

Let me be clear.

THREE.

She received services from the Early Intervention program and then when she turned 3 years old, she was handed off to our local school district.  I took her to school that 1st day.  It was in the middle of the school year because of where her birthday fell.   The teacher was a dynamic woman who had the attention of every 3 and 4 year old in her care.  She walked them through the halls singing a song, and they followed her along like little ducklings.  When the group got to the classroom door, Nea walked in right with her duckling friends and did not shed one tear.  I was shocked.  The teacher just smiled and said, "Let's just go with it.  She'll be fine."

And it was that experience that set the tone for my expectations on how school life should be for her.

It was that summer that we did our first IEP.  An intimidating experience, but I learned much.  I brought my "Nea experts" with me (her OT, DT, Speech therapists) and the team made a plan.  That entire team that consisted of roughly 15 people made a plan that would give Nea the best success in school.

1st year at the early learning school

We've had several IEP's since that first one.  And I know that for many people, they are a harrowing experience and full of frustration.  Both for parents and teachers alike.  In my honest opinion the system works against everyone who is trying to do the right thing for a child.  It's not a political post, so I'm going to leave that right here.   :-)

We spent 2 wonderful years in our early learning center with an amazing staff of teachers.  Nea really blossomed there.  Every week she would say new words, her jargon speech eventually vanished, she could retell stories, she talked about friends....and on and on.  I am always grateful  for her time spent there as I think it built her a very strong foundation.

Moving to the Big K was a tough IEP meeting.  Nea was doing well academically, but needed assistance with focus, with redirection and with social cues.  We labored a long time trying to find the right place to put her.  We finally landed on a Cross- Cat (cross category) classroom.  This was a special needs classroom of K-2nd graders with a special education teacher.  The unknowns were too many for the IEP team to put her in a mainstream Kindergarten class.  Could she handle the stress of it?  What about the noise?  How would she manage the hustle and bustle?  We just couldn't wrap our heads around something we thought might be setting her up for failure.  So we decided to put all the safety nets in place and put her in this cross-cat classroom.  She still had her Speech Therapy and her OT alongside.  We also decided she could benefit from being in that mainstream K class- so we put her in there 1 hr a day.

Nea had a good school year.   We were very pleased with her progress.  We ran into a couple social snafu's the last  4 months of the school year, which made it unpleasant for everyone.  We worked closely with the teacher of course, but those last few months were a bit rough.  And we heard a lot of "I don't want to go to school today."

Penguins on a zoo field trip!

Her IEP came up in the Spring to decide what was going to happen in the Fall.  Again the team all came together to decide what the plan should be.  Without a doubt, everyone felt that she should be in a mainstream classroom and a chance at different academia.  And in the same breath we all worried if she could handle it or not.  Could she handle the stress of it?  What about the noise?  How would she manage the hustle and bustle?

She was doing well in Math, but still was behind in writing and reading.  Clearly those were the areas we needed to give her extra help.  Could we put her in a mainstream classroom with some extra help?  So we gave her resource minutes for those pieces to her school day.  Her time in OT was done at the end of the year last year, but she still requires speech therapy.  Even with all these safety nets in place, we all hesitated.

It all looked very familiar to me.  Even though this was an entirely different team of people (teachers, therapists, social worker, psychologist, etc.)  they were all saying the same thing I heard around a different table.   I jumped in...

"Guys...this is the exact place the team at the early learning center was at last year.  We went a little bit of a safer route.  It paid off of course, but here we are again."

Someone else chimed in...

" We won't know if she can do it, unless we give her the chance to show us."

Someone else said,

On the School Playground

"She's eager to learn, we just need to give her a few extra pieces"

And then, a teacher said....

"Ok! Let's just go with it."

That took me right back to that day I left my 3 year old with her very 1st teacher whom I didn't know, but had to believe I was doing the right thing.   It reminded me that letting Nea take the lead on so many aspects in her life usually turns out better than ever imagined.

The energy in the room changed.  There was lots of joy and excitement....

"I think she can do it!"

" I think she's got it in her!"

"This is a great plan!  It's the right thing!"

"She'll do well!"

So Nea starts in a mainstream classroom, with lots of reasource minutes for the areas she has difficulty.  It's a large group of kids this year, which I'm not going to lie...has me worried.  However, if we decide it's too much for her- the plan is to put an aide with her.  The aide can help her focus, keep her on task, assist if she gets overwhelmed, etc.

Nea is excited to start school.  She gets to go back to the same school AND (bonus points!) she already knows the teacher.  That 1 hr a day she spent in mainstream K.....that same teacher is going to teach 1st grade.  That's a wonderful thing and I hope an indicator of a smooth year!

The homework will be very different, the pace will be very different, the social interactions of NT kids will be very different.    I believe she can handle it or I wouldn't have allowed it to happen- but it doesn't mean I'm not a nervous wreck.

1st grade.  There are just no words.

The IEP

First, I have to say again that my Mom made this day infinitely better for us.  She brought us all lunch, did some pre-meeting prep with us and then stayed with Nea all day.  I've said it before....no one loves your kid like you do.  But Grandma, is a pretty close second.  Reports from Grandma are that they had a great day together and learned a lot about each other without the pesky parents around.  There are decorative gel eggs on our windows now and we are +10 mini dinosaurs, a tiara, Nutella dip-sticks and +4 cars.  As Grandmas go.....ours is at the top of the list.

Second, I have to give a major shout out to all of Nea's current therapists.  Every one of them came to the meeting today and spent 2 hours totally engaged.  (Yes, it was a 2 hour meeting.)  If they had not been there, I am certain the IEP would have been very different.  And because Nea's made some great strides in progress since the initial evaluation by the school, they were able to provide that info as well.  Without her therapists today, I don't believe we would have made all the progress that we did.

Okay...on with the info!

Just a recap. The IEP is Nea's individualized education plan.  The school shares their recommendations of what she will need to accomplish education goals and how they are going to go about helping her along the way.  It's stressful for many parents, and I can certainly understand why.

We walked into a board room with a table full of professionals on their computers or reading through reports, etc.  It could have been very intimidating.  Very.  But I had 4 other people with me, so it felt a whole lot better.  I also made a mental note to myself that Jon and I would NEVER be coming to one of these by ourselves.  Even if we bring friends who may not know Nea's skills, her Poppa and I need the support.  Period.

 I  don't think they mean it to be intimidating.  I just think that the table doesn't serve well in that scenario.  The table was a long board room table, much like a rectangle.  That  gives it the impression of "head" and "foot" as well as "sides."  It's a Feng Sui disaster.  A perfectly round table, with enough seats for everyone would have been far less overwhelming and much more "we're all equals here because we all have important information."  The dynamics of a room play a big role here, in my opinion.

Okay, enough about that.  But if I win the lotto some day, I'm buying my school district the biggest round table I can find.

The meeting starts off with everyone in the room giving the results of their assessment.  There were not any surprises.  There were a few things she gained extra points on because our therapists were able to fill in a few gaps.   There was a lot of rescramble on reports to reflect new information.

Sensory issues came out loud and clear from the OT person.  And both OT's were able to converse in "OT speak" about stuff.  The school's OT talked about assessment day and that when Nea was very stressed and  overwhelmed she came to her and climbed on her lap.  She hugged the OT gal tightly, and the OT gal hugged her back, giving her a big squeeze.  She told us today that she's impressed with Nea's ability to know when she needs pressure-especially in an unfamiliar environment with a stranger.  We see that at home too when Nea will bring us her helmet to put on or she asks for "squishes."  Without her sensory needs being met, the education piece will not progress.

The other loud and clear message from everyone was "on her own terms."  Which means, Nea probably has the skill they are requesting (like matching, or labeling from a field of 2) but if she's not motivated by the task at hand, she shuts down.  She will close her eyes, cover her face, turn her head, etc. etc.  And it's damn near impossible to come back from that.  They all saw it, her therapists agreed that's exactly how she works and we see it at home as well.

The first thing to decide after all the information exchange is "what makes her qualify for services?"  There was not a batting of one eye and every single one of them said, "Autism."  It was a powerful statement for me for some reason.   Maybe it was the affirmation of 14 professionals in the room all agreeing that her Autism gets in the way of her learning.  The developmental pediatrician said those exact words when she was diagnosed back in August.

So after 2 hours of talking, reviewing, gaining understanding, etc. we landed on an IEP that I believe will work for the upcoming year.  Goals are made for 12 months, which I had to keep in mind because they seemed so dang lofty.  I will jot them here (as I was taking notes) because I don't have the final one in front of me.  So many corrections had to be made, that the corrected version will be sent in a day.

OT goals:

• ease in transitions
• work on imitation
• use visual schedule
• sensory strategies/sensory diet will be used daily

Speech/language goals

• able to use simple phrases to make requests (I want milk vs. milk)
• use of personal pronouns for requesting 
• able to follow verbal 2-step directions
• increased use of who/what questions that are conversationally appropriate

Classroom goals:

• able to easily transition 4 activities
• follows at least 1 teacher directed task

Social goals:

• turn-taking & sharing
• exchange toys with peers at least 4 times in play (Mom note:  bahahahaha!) 

Play goals:

• Create 3 step play schemes 
• Play with 10 different toys in an appropriate manner

Lots right?  Wowsa.  And that's just my notes!  

So....to meet those goals she's going to need:

• Special needs classroom (1 teacher/1 aide/10 students)
• Speech/language 60 minutes/week
• OT 30 min/week

Classroom is 2.5 hours a day/5 days a week.  

Reports are sent to us quarterly on goal achievement.  

Overall, her Poppa and I were happy with the outcome of the meeting.  If she meets these goals, then we all come together again, and come up with new goals.  If there is a slot open in a special needs classroom, she would start April 9th. 

I'm happy to have this very first IEP under our belt.  It's the first of many for her entire school career.  I think we all did pretty well.

  

Change is in the air....

The seasons are starting to change.  The snow keeps falling but I think Winter knows that Spring is right around the corner which is why it kicked into panic mode the last week or so.

Change is coming for my girl, in a big way.  I don't know if she's picking up on it or not.  We've had a few rough days around here with sleep.  Or it's the pull of the full moon. Or (as a friend just reminded me) the retrograde of Mercury is the culprit.   Or it's some bad, spicy tacos.  Whatever it is, there's no denying it!

We had our official exit meeting with Early Intervention this past week.  This is where I sit down with all her therapists and our case worker and review progress.  Just like we had an "opening" meeting, we have this "closing" one as well.

It's nice to sit around with everyone all at once and get a full picture.  Everyone has a different piece and a unique perspective.  I soak it up like a sponge.

The OT said that Nea has made amazing progress and has met most of her goals.  She wanted to make sure she could adjust to "activities of daily living" for a 2-3 year old, and Nea has done that.  She goes to the playground with others, attends birthday parties, eats at restaurants, etc.  Sensory integration is still a work in progress and sensory needs being met will be key to learning for her.

Diana from speech therapy reassessed her and felt she has made "excellent progress" since we started in April.  She likes the marked improvement in her play schemes as well as verbalizations during play.  She can choose objects from a field of 3-5 without problem.  She is still not identifying objects by function or displaying an understanding of location phrases.  Her expressive vocabulary is +100 words that she uses to request, comment or protest.  She's not relating personal experience (meaning she won't tell you that we went swimming the day before) but she refers to herself by name.  She is age appropriate when in comes to articulation, but she still has a 30% or more delay in speech overall.

Developmental therapy shared that they are up to 45-50  minutes of attention but she has to present items rapidly.  Transitions are getting better but it's still very difficult to participate in non-preferred activities (Mom insert: "stubborn as bull").  They still use sensory breaks for her with spinning in a chair, the bean bag or weighted blanket.  She still prefers to play alone and doesn't always respond to verbal requests but she is emerging with the skill to seek out others for shared interests.

Overall, they are good reports.  Everyone was very clear that if she doesn't get into school in April she will still need services during the summer.  A gap would be bad for her.   Their professional observations are what we see at home too in our day to day activities.  Early Intervention has been very good to us and provided great resources for Nea to make wonderful progress.  Our case worker was great, always in contact and always willing to listen.  And of course, you all know how I feel about Nea's therapists.

I came home that day feeling a little verklempt about getting close to saying goodbye, but feeling armed with good information to move on to our next phase.

And this is what greeted me in the maill:

"STUDENT" ???!!!!???  Wow.  Student.

And if that wasn't overwhelming the list of people attending the meeting include:

School Case Manager
School Social Worker
Early Start Teacher
School Psychologist
Special Ed Teacher
Speech Therapist
Nurse
Occupational Therapist

No wonder parents feel overwhelmed when attending the first IEP meeting!

We are bringing:

Early Intervention Case Manager
Early Intervention Speech Therapist (Diana)
Early Intervention Occupational Therapist
Early Intervention Developmental Therapist
Me
Poppa

14 people!!!!!!   14 People creating the best education path for 1 little girl.

Nea is not coming with us that day.  Can you imagine how overwhelmed SHE would feel?  She is thrown off when the Developmental Therapist comes to a meeting at the place where the Speech and OT are!



Nope, Nea will have Grandma all to herself!  There's still a little time before she's a "student."