Being Brave

 Our local Children's Hospital hosted a magical event called The Enchanted Ball.  This is the first year for the event, and we were able to get in on the fun early.  It was a fundraiser for The Children's Miracle Network and for F.I.R.S.T (Foundation for Icthyosis and Related Skin Types).  I've never taken Nea to this type of event before.  We have done festivals and carnivals which are usually outside.  Those outside events are good because I think she likes the open feel.  This was inside a ballroom, and I had no idea what to expect.

Checking out the dance floor before everyone arrives

I'm not a big princess person.  Meaning, the messages of princesses is not really something I really like.  So we don't have any princess toys around here or girly, frilly things.  If Nea grows up to love pink and everything about it (just like I do!) then that's wonderful.  She's already inundated with that message in just about every media available to her.  So until the time she can make the decision on her own...and start showing her own likes and dislikes, I will be trying to keep the balance for her.  I am working to make sure she knows about trucks and mud and all things icky.  I really despise "boy toys" and "girl toys"...can't they just be toys?  Anyway, I digress.   "Damsel in distress" is not a skill set I particularly want her to have.

I am an equal opportunity fantasy creator.  The weekend before she had an opportunity to spend an afternoon with SpiderMan and IronMan.  This event was an opportunity for her to spend an afternoon with princesses and all things frilly.

As I said, this was going to be an experiment.  There were many stressors that were going to be present such as an enclosed space, lots of people, loud noises and the overwhelming excitement of seeing Tiana and Rapunzel.

There were well over 200 people there, and timing was a bit slow.  She was incredibly patient sitting at the table with Grandma coloring and watching the crowd.  She was animated and excited unless someone made eye contact with her, or said hello.  Then, she shrunk like a flower and tried to melt into the floor.  She does so much better if people talk to me first and she's allowed to look at them (size them up) on her own terms.  Once eye contact occurs, it's over.

When the dance started, all the little girls went up to the dance floor to dance with the princesses and the princes.  Nea was excited to hear the music, but wanted no part of that crowd.  She danced on her own, in her own space near our table and seemed to have just as much fun.

Dancing at the Enchanted Ball

Getting announced to the Royal Court was the one stretch goal I pushed for her.  I knew it would be tough, and it was....but squirming is growth and I helped her march through it.  She tried very hard to say hello, and mostly spoke through a few tears but she did it.  I didn't attempt  formal pictures because I knew that would be way too much.  One goal at a time. :-)

Introduced to the Royal Court

By the end of the afternoon, she was out of reserves and looked for a quiet spot.  Of course the best one was under the table.  Grandma and I just went with it and let her stay there the last 20 minutes of the Ball.  Because, that's what you do.

A quiet spot under the table

An afternoon filled with fun and with learning experiences.  This "pushing" thing is a tough balance for me and I'm constantly having an inner dialogue with myself.  Am I pushing too hard?  When does she get to say, no?  How do we keep moving her forward comfortably?  Temple Grandin talks about this a lot, and I always appreciate her words.  I don't have the answers for sure.  So I listen closely to my heart.....

.....always listening for a reply from hers.

Drinking from the fancy glass at the Enchanted Ball